i’ve been having a hard time to focus on things these past couple of days. apa pasal? it has to do with ‘people management’ at my home. some of you might have already guessed. and got it right. yup. you’re right. that’s what i am talking about.
i have a babysitter for my baby. athan. (actually most people do not consider him being a baby anymore – he is 2 years old – but i still think that he is a baby). i have had her for almost 2 years now. she started working when athan was around 4 months old – just when i had to start working again after taking my 3 months leave.
during the whole time she is with us, i’ve never had any major complaints about her. she is a fast learner, she gets along very well with athan and his brother, she is good with managing the money i give for our daily spendings, she doesn’t mind doing household chores when she is not busy with athan, and i give her the credit for helping my son learn how to eat solid food at 7 months old, walk at 11 months old, talk at 20 months old (this last one took a but longer than abang).
so, all in all, i have nothing bad against her whatsoever.
until…. one day she told me that she was going to get married. my first headache hit me. i thought about it all day for many many days. it affected my work at the office and my time at home. i kept thinking, what am i supposed to do after she gets married? should i start looking for a replacement? will i ever find one as good? but then how do i tell her that she cannot work for me anymore? that would be so cruel. but i couldn’t have someone who would have to divide her time between my athan and her husband. that would be so hard. i actually had days with painful headaches.
but after a few talks and discussions, the problem was solved. and no major dramas at all. she still works as usual, and at night when i get home (at whatever time i get home), she would go home and the next morning at 5, she’d be back at my house again.
but now my second headache comes back. she might be pregnant. oh no, this time i really don’t know what to do. i don’t know if i would want to keep her if she really is pregnant. what if then she tells me that she cannot come to work because she is not feeling well? morning sickness? feeling tired or lousy? wouldn’t it be so cruel to say to her, no, you cannot take the day off because i have to go to work and i need you here to watch athan. even if i had the right to say that, it just would not feel right.
and then what if the work becomes much to hard for her to handle? and then something happens to her pregnancy? because of me? that would be something i would not know how to handle.
but i can’t just tell her, you can’t work for me anymore, i am going to find someone else to replace you because now you are pregnant – that would be just as cruel.
i really don’t know what to do. i know that a talk and discussion with her is called for. but i don’t know what to say to her. i don’t know what to tell her.