the other day i arrived home from work around 7pm at night. i knew my boy had a math test the next day and i was assuming that he had already studied for it so all i had to do was make sure that he missed nothing.
it had been a long day with so much to do at the office. just wanted to give you the background so you all know how i felt when i found out that he had not even opened his math book to study for the test. i was absolutely fuming with anger!
i tried to calm down and with a great effort patiently went through all the chapters that he needed to study. and then i made up some problems for him to work on to make sure that he understood what the chapters were saying.
i was tired. he was tired. and when he couldn’t work out some of the problems, i lost it and i shouted, “you’d better do good on this test tomorrow, otherwise don’t you dare come home again!”
till this day i so much regret what i said to him that night. he has probably forgotten about it (or maybe deep down he will always remember… i don’t know), but i know that all the kisses, all the pats on the shoulder, all the strokes on the head, all the hugs, can never take the place of my guilt. till this day. it won’t go away.
i’m sorry, my son.